I Loved Her First
by Di12381
Summary: Based on the Heartland song I Loved Her First, John reminisces about his life with Marguerite while watching their daughter fall in love.


As usual, the characters are not mine and of course this beautiful song is also not mine, I'm just borrowing it.

-Heartland- I Loved Her First- I heard this song on the radio, it just struck me as a good song fic. This song is not mine, it's just borrowed.

I Loved Her First

"_What do you think, Dad?" Abby stepped out from behind the divider and John's heart nearly stopped. _

"_You look beautiful" Offering his only daughter his arm, he felt his heart pound as the chapel doors opened and the organ music welcomed them inside._

"_Do I look like her?"._

"_You always have"._

_He remembered their wedding day, it was not the social event that his parent's wedding had been. It was a simple, quiet affair. With Ned and Veronica unable to leave the plateau and Finn not sure if she wanted to see the early 20th century, the only witnesses were George and Jessie. Never the traditional type, Marguerite walked down the aisle by herself. Trying to look serious, but unable to force down her happiness, he watched her walk down the aisle, his heart pounding. They were finally together, completely happy and expecting their first child._

_She was named Abigail Veronica and from the moment she emerged from her mother's womb, it was obvious that she was her mother's daughter. Four years later, she was joined by her brother, named William Arthur. For the next ten years, they were the happiest either of them had ever been. Abby and Will were content children, Marguerite and John were as much in love as the day they married and the news of a third pregnancy made their bliss complete._

_Then the accident happened._

_It started as a normal day. Marguerite, 5 months into her pregnancy, taking the children to school and then returning home to work on her jewelry line with her staff while John performed his duties as lord. Later that day, about an hour after Abby and Will were in bed, he heard her scream and found her writhing in pain on the floor in the library, her skirt bloody._

"_Well?" John asked the doctor 40 minutes later after pacing for what seemed like forever._

"_I'm sorry, Lord Roxton, I can't explain it, but she lost the child"._

"_What about Marguerite?"._

"_I can't tell you if Lady Roxton will live or die, but I will say that that the next few days are crucial. She must stay in bed, no stress, whatsoever"._

"_Dad, what's going on?" Will and Abby woke up, hearing the commotion._

"_Your mother had an accident"._

"_Is she ok?" Will asked._

"_She's fine, go back to bed"._

_After his children had returned to their beds and the doctor had been escorted out, John returned to their bedroom._

"_I'm sorry, John" she turned away, not wanting him to see her pale face streaked with tears and her empty, bloody womb that only hours ago held their unborn child._

"_You're alive, that's what matters"._

"_The baby…" a waterfall of fresh tears fell down her cheeks._

"_We have Abby and Will and if we want to, we can always have another. What matters is that you're still here"._

"_I love you, John"._

"_And I love you, Marguerite". _

_John woke up the next day, relieved to see that her color had improved. _

"_Breakfast, my queen" With a gallant bow, he placed the tray in front of her._

"_John, you didn't have to" the broad smile on her face caused his fears to fly out of the window._

"_I wanted to"._

"_Mum, are you ok?" Will and Abby charged into the bedroom._

"_I'm fine"._

"_I'm sorry you lost the baby"._

"_Perhaps it was meant to be" she smiled weakly, not wanting her children to see her tears._

"_All right you two, off to school" John shooed his children outside._

"_See you later, Mum" their voices disappeared down the hallway. _

"_You relax today, I'll be back later and think about going to London this weekend, maybe we both need the break" kissing her on the forehead, he walked out._

_Feeling the pain wracking her body, Marguerite closed her eyes; hoping sleep might ease her pain._

_John returned to their bedroom twice later that day relieved that her color was normal and her breathing was even._

_He returned to the bedroom a third time, close to the time that he knew the children would be home from school. But this time was different, her breathing was shallow and the color had drained from her face. _

"_Marguerite!" _

_She was silent._

"_Call the doctor!" John screamed into the hallway._

"_Milord?" the young maid asked, carrying the sheets from the linen closet._

"_Now, dammit!". Realizing what was going on, the girl dropped the linen and ran for the phone._

_Returning to his wife's placid form, he started performing CPR._

"_Breathe, Marguerite" he encouraged._

_She remained still._

"_Damn you, woman, you can't do this to me" he heard the doctor's footsteps and knew that her fate was out of his hands. _

"_I'm sorry, Lord Roxton, there isn't anything I can do. I suggest you make her comfortable and pray for the end to be easy" the doctor said uneasily. Grabbing his satchel, he made his exit._

"_Dad, what's going on?" John cringed, hearing Abby and Will coming up the stairs. _

_This was exactly what he didn't want._

"_What's wrong with Mum?" Will asked._

_John Roxton was a man who normally kept his emotions in check, but knowing that the love of his life was dying; he couldn't protect their children from the truth, he knew what he had to do._

"_Dad?" Abby's eye's began to water, the same intense green as her mother's eyes. _

"_Your Mum is…" he fumbled for the right words._

"_John" Marguerite called weakly from the bedroom._

"_Don't say anything" with his children by his side, they entered the bedroom._

"_John, I…"._

"_You should rest" he said quietly, forcing back his emotions._

"_Abby" she unhooked the locket from around her neck and handed it her daughter._

"_Mum, I can't take it, it's yours"._

"_Take it" she dropped the necklace into her daughter's open palm._

_Letting her eyes wander to their children, they rested for a second before she returned her green eyes to her husband. Resting her hand to his cheek, she died._

_She was buried in the Roxton family graveyard a week later with their unborn son, who upon birth would have been named Edward George. For the next ten years, he would return to the graveyard to place flowers on their graves. John Roxton was never the same. _

_Abby's cheeks flushed as she locked eyes with the man who was to be her husband, Steven Malone. Introduced by her cousin Arthur Malone last year, something had clicked between the young couple. Within six months of their first meeting, they were engaged._

_Steven, the only child of Ned's late brother, was studying at Oxford under a scholarship. Arthur was in London, as he did several times a year to print his father's novels. As usual, he had a plate waiting for him at Avebury and was joined by his cousin._

"_Who gives this woman to be wed?" the preacher asked._

"_I do" John replied. Kissing his daughter and shaking the hand of his soon to be son in law, he stepped back, sitting down in his designated seat._

_Moments later they were married and within an hour, the couple had begun their first dance as a married couple._

Look at the two of you dancing that way  
Lost in the moment and each other's face  
So much in love you're alone in this place  
Like there's nobody else in the world

I was enough for her not long ago  
I was her number one she told me so  
And she still means the world to me just so you know  
So be careful when you hold my girl  
Time changes everything life must go on  
And I'm not gonna stand in your way

_They looked_ _very much in love, as happy as any newly weds could be._

"_She's beautiful John, you've done a great job, raising her and Will all these years by yourself. Marguerite would have been proud" George stood by his friend._

I loved her first  
I held her first

_Although George stood beside him, he was somewhere else, remembering the day she was born._

_After pacing for seemed what hours, the door to their bedroom finally opened._

"_Lord Roxton" the doctor let him._

"_It's a girl, John, we have a daughter" nothing but smiles, a sweaty and tired Marguerite presented the red faced infant to her husband._

_Cradling his new daughter in his arms, he was amazed that this tiny creature was made of their love._

"_What should we call her?" John asked, sitting down on the bed, next to Marguerite._

"_How about Abigail Veronica?" Marguerite asked as the infant wailed._

And a place in my heart   
Will always be hers 

"_Abigail Veronica Roxton" John agreed. Looking at the infant, he knew this child already had him wrapped around her tiny finger._

From the first breath she breathed  
When she first smiled at me  
I knew the love of a father runs deep  
And I prayed that she'd find you someday  
But it's still hard to give her away  
I loved her first

"_Dad, I'm getting married" Abby charged into he father's office._

"_What, when?" Having just returned from his London office, he was shocked by the news._

"_I don't know, Steve just asked me and I said yes"._

"_Lord Roxton, I uh, intended, to ask your permission first, but well, you were in my shoes once, you understand I got caught up in the emotion of the moment…" Steven walked in behind Abby, obviously nervous._

"_Dad?" Abby asked._

"_Take care of her" John said quietly. _

"_Dad, are you sure?" Abby cautiously approached her father._

"_I am"._

"_Thank you, Dad" she kissed her father on the cheek._

"_Thank you, Lord Roxton, I won't let you down" Steven vigorously shook the older man's hand._

How could that beautiful woman with you  
Be the same freckle faced kid that I knew

_Watching them run out, he remembered another day when he was in his study._

_Nearly 20 years earlier, he had just returned from a three week long stay in London. His duties in the House of Lords caused him to be away for nearly 1/4 of the year. They had considered moving to London, but Marguerite preferred Avebury to their London town house. They kept two rooms for themselves while renting out the rest of the house, bringing in extra income. _

"_Dad, you're home" Five year old Abby ran to her father._

"_Abby, leave your father alone, he just came home" Marguerite, carrying Will, followed her daughter._

"_Hello, love" Abby's parents shared a short kiss before John kissed his son._

"_Did you bring me anything?" Abby asked._

"_Abigail Veronica…" Marguerite scolded her daughter._

"_Did you behave yourself?" John asked, pulling the wrapped box out from behind his back._

"_Well…"_

"_Abby…" Marguerite again scolded._

"_I broke Grandmum's vase. I didn't mean to, Mum told me not to, but I wanted to play and it was raining out" Abby confessed._

"_You can have it, on one condition; you listen to your mother"._

"_Thank you, Dad, thank you, Mum" Abby may have looked like her mother, but the familiar grin on her face came from her father. _

"_You spoil her, John" Marguerite warned Abby disappeared into the hallway toward the playroom._

"_She's not the only one I spoil" he pulled out two more boxes. Inside the boxes were a tennis bracelet for Marguerite and a stuffed tiger for Will._

"_John, it's beautiful, thank you" she attached the bracelet to her wrist._

"_What do you think, little man?" John took his son from Marguerite and made growling noises. Will gurgled in appreciation._

The one that I read all those fairy tales to  
And tucked into bed all those nights

"_Tell me a story, Dad" Abby asked later that night as he tucked her in._

"_Once upon a time, there was a princess…"_

_Within fifteen minutes she was fast asleep._

"_Sleep well, princess" kissing her on the forehead, he turned the light off and left the door open slightly before returning to his bedroom. _

"_Is she asleep?" Marguerite asked as he entered their bedroom. _

"_Like a baby" he climbed into bed._

"_Speaking of babies…" Marguerite smiled, stroking her husband's midsection. It had been nearly a month since he had been gone._

"_Come here" he growled. _

_She responded by rolling on top of him. They spent that night in a world of their own. He woke up the next morning feeling content. He had everything he could ever ask for and more._

And I knew the first time I saw her with you  
It was only a matter of time 

"_Arthur, how was your trip?" John asked as he and Steve were led into the house. _

"_Easy. Uncle John, this is my cousin, Steven. Steve, this my Uncle, Lord John Roxton and my cousins, Abby and Will"._

"_Thank you for the invitation, Lord Roxton"._

"_You're family. Any member of the Malone family is a member of my own family"._

"_Thank you, Lord Roxton I appreciate it"._

_Dinner was quiet, with John and Arthur dominating the conversation._

"_How are your parents these days?" John asked._

"_They're fine. Dad is working on his writing and Mom is teaching Maggie about her duties. She wasn't happy that Mom made her stay, she really wanted to come". _

"_I'm sure your sister will come when the time is right" John replied._

"_Excuse me, Miss Roxton, that necklace is beautiful" Steven commented._

"_Its Abby, this necklace is my mother's" she replied quietly._

"_Arthur told me what happened to your mother, my father also passed away when I was a child"._

"_Excuse me, I'm a little tired" forcing back tears, she got up from the table._

"_Abby?" her father followed her out of the dining room._

"_I'm sorry, Dad, it been a long day" she apologized. _

"_Why don't you go upstairs and relax? I'll ask the cook to send up a sandwich and a cup of tea?" John offered._

"_Thanks Dad" she disappeared upstairs._

"_Is everything ok?" Arthur asked._

"_Abby is re-opening Mum's jewelry company" Will explained._

"_Lord Roxton, I apologize if I've offended her…" Steven started to apologize._

"_Its fine, Steven, Abby and Marguerite were extremely close and reopening the business has been hard on her"._

"_Still, I would like to apologize" Steven offered._

"_Another time" John replied._

_Two weeks later, Steven had his chance. While passing through the campus, he heard a familiar voice._

"_Your father tells me that you're re-opening your mother's jewelry company" Abby walked with George, who had just returned from doing a series of lectures in New York._

"_I'm trying; I'll never be as good as her"._

"_You'll do fine; after all, if Marguerite was nothing else, she was determined"._

"_Miss Roxton, what a surprise" they were stopped by Steven._

"_Steven, I apologize about the other night…" she started to apologize._

"_I understand, you're quite busy these days" he replied._

"_Abby…" George interrupted their conversation. _

"_Uncle George, this is Uncle Ned's nephew from America, Steven. Steven, this George Challenger, one of my father's oldest and dearest friends"._

"_Welcome to Oxford, if you excuse me, I must be getting along. Abby, give my best to your father" George walked off._

"_It's a beautiful day" He commented, struggling for conversation._

"_It is, if you'll excuse me, I have to go, it was nice to see you again" she started to walk away. _

"_Wait, I wanted to ask if you knew of any good restaurants. I've been eating campus food ever since I got here and I'd like to see what fine fare London has to offer". _

"_There is a nice one, not too far from here. Steven, I'm sorry, I have an appointment to get to…"._

"_I was wondering if you wanted to join me for dinner, I feel bad about what happened a few weeks ago" Steve offered_

"_Call my secretary, she knows my schedule" Abby handed Steven her card and walked off._

I loved her first  
I held her first  
And a place in my heart  
Will always be hers  
From the first breath she breathed  
When she first smiled at me  
I knew the love of a father runs deep  
And I prayed that she'd find you someday  
But it's still hard to give her away  
I loved her first 

_The party lasted into the wee hours of the morning until the newly weds were ready to start their honeymoon. Standing outside the hall surrounded by their guests, Steve and Abby were ready to begin their lives as a married couple._

"_John…" he heard the whisper in the wind and felt a hand in his._

_Turning around, there was no one there, but looking down at his wedding ring, he knew she was there._

"_See you in two weeks, Dad" still glowing from her wedding, the car that was to take them to their honeymoon suite and then to the dock the next day for their honeymoon trip to Africa was waiting in front of the hall._

"_Thank you, John"._

"_Take care of my daughter, that's all I ask"._

"_Always" with a final wave to their guests, Steve and Abby left for their honeymoon._

From the first breath she breathed  
When she first smiled at me  
I knew the love of a father runs deep  
Someday you might know what I'm going through 

_Four years later, John paced next to his son in law. Moments later the doctor opened the door._

"_It's a girl, Steve" _

"_She's beautiful" Holding the red faced child, he showed his new daughter to his father in law._

"_What do you think, Dad?" The infant was placed in her grandfather's arms._

"_I think she looks like your mother"._

"_Then we should name her Marguerite" Abby said._

"_How about Marguerite Anne?" Steven suggested._

"_Marguerite Anne Malone" she grabbed his pinky finger and he knew he was hooked._

When a miracle smiles up at you  
I loved her first


End file.
